Last week I wrote about how I don’t need your permission before I offer to do something helpful for you. I can make an offer; you can accept or not. And we both can be happy where we stand.
If I offer you something, and you accept, I do need your approval. I need you to say, ‘Yes – this is the right thing for me.’
The approval that I am talking about is an approval that shouts, ‘I approve of what you are doing. It makes my life better. I am willing to spend money (or time, or energy) you because you are in line with what I hold most important right now.
I’m not waiting for your approval to validate myself, or who I am. I want to trust that you have thought about what I am offering to help you with, and you approve of what I am going to do. If you don’t approve, we have a couple of options.
- You can walk away. If you don’t think that I have anything to offer, I won’t be hurt if you don’t stick around.
- You can tell me about what parts just don’t quite fit for you. (I prefer this option.) In this case, you might say, “I like your work, but your [blank blank] just doesn’t fit my needs.’ I may be able to change how I help you because I have never realized that you needed [blank blank]. Or I might not be able to help you, and again you walk away without putting your stamp of approval on what I offer.
The worst thing that you can do is buy something, without
I’m looking for your approval because I want you to get something of value.